#dissociation

Here's a short spoken word / poem thing I wrote, enjoy! Also let me know what you think, should I do more readings or should I post text or illustrated poems?? Not gonna lie, was a bit nerve racking filming and posting this #escapril #dawn


1💬Normal

once it starts it doesn't easily stop so here i am trapped in a well of my thoughts and it's nice to think of all the things i haven't been thinking about for a change and in all honesty it bodes well for lockdown that my inner world is even more intricate and entertaining and all consuming than my outer world. . . . . . #apocalypse #quarantine #isolation #thinking #coronavirus #lobster #illustration #lobsterillustration #mentalhealth #depression #anxiety #cptsd #ptsd #bipolar #bpd #borderlinepersonalitydisorder #eupd #bpdmeme #bpdmemes #dissociation #dpdr #borderline #actuallyborderline #bpdawareness #recovery #eatingdisorder #edrecovery #crayon #artoftheday


0💬Normal

Jag har lagt mycket tid och tankar åt det här med anfallen sen jag kom hem från sjukhuset. Diagnosen förändrade allt och ändå inget. Det är ganska konstigt att anpassa sig till det. Psykogena anfall är ett dissociativt syndrom vilket innebär att hjärnan, för att skydda personen, stänger av från verkligheten genom att skapa ett anfall. I mitt fall verkar det vara kopplat till min hjärntrötthet och när hjärnan inte orkar längre så stänger den helt enkelt av. För att göra det hela lite mer intressant slås jag av en extrem trötthet varje gång jag försöker läsa på om det och förstå mer av vad som händer. Det är inte särskilt konstigt egentligen, för hela poängen är ju att skydda hjärnan. Så om jag tar reda på vad som händer kan hjärnan inte längre använda sig av den metoden. Hjärnan är minst sagt komplex och kreativ. #hjrntumör #hjrntrött #hjrntrötthet #mf #mentalfatigue #pnes #psykogenaanfall #dissociativasyndrom #dissociation


0💬Normal

It's better to process through your emotions then push them down. Mostly because when you push them down they just come back up tenfold. Still though, trying to seem levelheaded in public takes a lot of energy and as soon we walk past the threshold of this apartment we pretty much feel everything we didnt allow ourselves to feel throughout the day. . . . #dissociation #breakdown #emotions


0💬Normal

So, it's the body's birthday today. (small TW for this post: bday, sadness) We're really not excited, nothing special will happen today. We don't even expect birthday wishes, as we know, that people probably don't care about the day we were born. It makes us sad. We've had a mental breakdown last night, had trauma nightmares afterwards. At least our bday present is great. It's a handbag, with enough pockets and it's pretty. We were so happy, I guess. Right now, I'm sitting on the couch, sad again as I just wish that my life was different. I want my bday to be special, just like in childhood. I wish my f*ther was never there when my bday came, he did never know how old I got. I swear to god, if he dares to congratulate me via WhatsApp (I don't have his number no more) I'm gonna kick his body out of existence. My niece sang a birthday song to me. I nearly cried, as I wished that somebody sings for me today. I want this day to be special, even though I don't like it. But it's the day I was born. The day, where hell started. But also the day where another special human found their way into existence. I don't know how the rest of the system feels about today. I know some are hiding away. I don't know what to do, I feel so unimportant. But is that really it? Am I important? I'm torn between so many thoughts. Well, to at least have a nice day, I'm going to be playing Minecraft for the whole day. Yesterday I managed to play ON A SERVER for a few hours!! And I wasn't scared! Which is great honestly. I played Murder Mystery and TNT Run the most. Hypixel server. Love that. I know this post doesn't make sense. At all, probably. It's almost 1 pm now, I slept till 11 am. About 7 hours, which is actually not that bad I guess. Okay, I gotta go. - Nika (& Luna) (#dissociativeidentitydisorder #didsystem #mentalillness #healing #dissociation #depression #anxiety #ocd #eatingdisorder #trauma #traumasurvivor #childhoodtrauma #birthday #itsmybirthday #bday #sad #sadbirthday)


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Give me hugz. Found out some news yesterday that I’m still wrapping my head around. Numb but feeling everything at the same time. Anyone else on here suffer DID? (Dissociative Identity Disorder) really need to connect with some souls who are on my wave length rn. 🕷 - - #thatskazumi #kazumi #jessicahodak #DID #dissociativeidentitydisorder #dissociation #dissociativeidentity #mentalhealth #mentalillness


1💬Normal

DAY TWO of the poetry writing challenges I am participating in this month! • 1. @tristamateer writing prompts - ‘write about a childhood memory’. 2. @letsescapril day two - ‘growth/decay’. 3. @cgcpoems poetry month prompts - ‘write a poem where you redefine a pre-existing word’. • For the first piece of writing, I wrote about the first time I remember experiencing dissociation. It could seem kind of depressing that that’s my most vivid childhood memory but actually, although I had a love/hate relationship with it for many years, now it’s just acceptance that it’s something I will never quite understand. At least, not in this realm. • The theme for today’s #escapril was growth/decay and I immediately thought of something becoming overgrown - having too much of a good thing. Trying to trick yourself into believing something is thriving, growing more each day, when really it’s... dying. It’s about not knowing when to walk away and staying far too long. This hurt to write haha, and it was also quite inspired by a poem by my fave @tristamateer. • The third poem, redefining an existing word, made me think of claiming back a title that I was always afraid of. ‘Drama Queen’. Nothing used to be able to make me cry more than being called that haha. So I chose to redefine it. Being a drama queen hasn’t been a bad thing to me now for some time. Being dramatic means my emotions go deeper for sadness and anger but also, for love. For happiness. For contentment. For emotions that to some others, may not quite exist. • growth/decay I cut you back in sunshine. You yellowed before me, And somehow stayed Alive... Only through my lenses. Even though my own branches Were growing wildly out of hand, If I cut yours first You couldn’t reach for mine. While you curled and Dried, like sand, Black wax thickened around my head. With blinded eyes, I lifted you up For all the world to see. “Isn’t this a healthy flower? Oh, lucky me!” • • • #escapril #escapril2020 #cgcprompts #poetry #poems #poem #poetsofinstagram #writing #write #content #upcomingpoet #newpoet #sadpoem #happypoem #lovepoem #dissociation #growth #empowerment


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4💬Normal

Todavía es muy difícil compartir cosas más personales, mundos más íntimas, más silenciosos y a la vez ensordecedores. Todavía, también, es demasiado pronto para explicarlas. Pero tal vez alguien pueda sentir algo con esto, tal vez, espero, le ayude un poco. - It's still very hard to share personal, inner worlds so deep and quiet and loud at the same time. Also it's still too early to explain them. However, maybe someone out there can feel something - maybe it can help just a bit. #drawing #mentalillness #trauma #dissociation #confusion #mentalillnessart


2💬Normal

Day 457. The Dillinger Escape Plan - Symptom of Terminal Illness. This isn’t Dillinger Escape Plan’s heaviest song sonically, but emotionally this song is absolutely crushing. The lead singer described this track as “the most literal and non-metaphorical or abstract thing I’ve ever written” and you can tell from the sheer sense of urgency the track carries. The production is dense, manic and dark with intricate drum patterns and layered guitar creating a sense of cacophony that is directly juxtaposed by the few ambient moments opening and closing the track. #music #review #song #musicreview #songreview #songoftheday #rock #hiphop #rap #popmusic #electronicmusic #fire #milesdavis #davidbowie #tomwaits #aphextwin #swans #nickcaveandthebadseeds #thebeatles #rem #bobdylan #deathgrips #thedillingerescapeplan #mathcore #posthardcore #dissociation #symptomofterminalillness


0💬Normal

When a Trauma response is activated, we are responding to something happening now that matches something that happened in the past. Our brain has made a link in order to keep us safe. We might not even know what that link is. It may not be logical. It may not be obvious. To re-set our brain after Trauma, we can deliberately put our attention on what is happening here and now. Because training our brain to notice that we are here and now brings it out of there and then (ie the Trauma). Our brain can update to a more accurate appraisal of the current situation and the freeze response can stand down. . . . . #pandemic #trauma #developmentaltrauma #covid19 #traumatriggers #traumarecovery #dissociation #freezeresponse #polyvagaltheory #somaticexperiencing #narmtherapy #somatictraumatherapy #thebodykeepsthescore #peterlevine #besselvanderkolk #patogden #csasurvivors #traumasurvivors #yogatherapy #yogatherapymanchester #traumatherapymanchester #clinicalpsychology #neuropsychology #neurobiologyoftrauma


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New video up (finally) . I worked pretty hard of this video but I had a great time making it. Hopefully it’s helpful and entertaining. I’m thinking of doing more “Wes’s guide” videos in the future but I won’t give away any full ideas yet... anyways the link to our channel is in the bio! 😇😇 -Wes • • Tags: #support #did #dissociation #dissociativeidentitydisorder #support #mentalillness #mentalhealth #didyoutuber #newvideo #newupload #music #quarantine #stayhome #chronicillness #mentalillness #osdd #comedy #advice


3💬Normal

The world is going through quite a deal of uncertainty, and turmoil. It can be hard on everyone, especially those with #osdd #did or any #mentalhealth troubles, those of is already dealing with so much. We found this in our phones gallery and thought it could be helpful to some! #staystrong friends! #wereallinthistogether ❤♡¤Thea& Melony #interruptedmatrix #osdd1b #osddsystem #DID #dissociativeidentitydisorder #dissociated #dissociative #dissociation #lifewithdid #lifewithosdd #ptsd #cptsd #abusechangespeople #trauma #fragmented #depression #anxiety #bpd #psychopathsurvivor #narcissisticabusesurvivor #wwg1wga #keepfightingthegoodfight


0💬Normal

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